A Thank You to the Class

This communication class has been a great experience to learn effective communication and collaboration skills. I want to take a moment to thank my colleagues and professor in this course for providing such a supportive learning environment than encouraged new thinking and reflection on who I am as a communicator and a collaborator. I hope to see many of you in the next courses, and that we can stay in touch throughout the course and perhaps beyond it, as we can always continue to learn from each other!

Adjourning In Team Work

When reflecting on groups I have been a part of in the past, and groups I am part of now, I think that the hardest goodbyes have come from the groups with the most cohesion and trust. When I was doing my student teaching and my first special education job I worked at a small elementary school with a very small but tight-knit group of staff. There were two self-contained programs and a resource room in the building, plus Mrs. F., our school counselor/psychologist. Student study teams involved all special education staff, and when discussing how to best help children there were never conflicts over program restrictions or being unable to help serve a child because he did not “fit” one program or another. It was extremely clear that the group’s goal was to keep the child first at all times, and Mrs. F. served as a facilitator that would help us figure out how to spread out the support so no one felt overwhelmed or under-supported.

This high-performing group was hard to leave because, despite conflicts that might have arose during different issues, the group always had the same goal in mind, which helped us to always keep each other’s perspectives in mind. Every meeting was a positive experience because we knew whatever issues arose we would work through them and come out a stronger group in the end. Unfortunately we did not have a closing ritual, as I took another job over the summer and did not return. Mrs. F. retired shortly after, though we still keep in touch. I wish we could have had one opportunity to get together for a real goodbye, as many of us have gone our separate ways- though we do see each other at some special education gatherings since we work in neighboring districts.

I imagine that there will be some sadness when this group disbands at the end of this Master’s program, although I have already left one group behind, as I doubled-up on classes this summer and moved up one semester. There is one gal, Lois, in particular that I miss having discussion posts with, but we still stay connected through FaceBook and e-mail. I hope that when this course is over I will still stay in contact with some members of this Master’s group, as it has been a great experience to learn about other people through discussions, both on a professional and personal level.

Adjourning is an important process of group work because it brings closure as well as an opportunity to celebrate the group’s accomplishments. I think these celebrations and acknowledgment of relationships we have built encourage us to continue to work positively in other groups (or continue working in old groups, but with new goals) as it lets us reflect on the positive work that can be achieved through working together. It also reminds us that we are not alone in our mission of serving young children and their families to the best of our abilities.

Conflicts in the Workplace

This blog assignment was perfectly timed, as there have been some conflict at my work as we start new schedules, and those of us working with children who have many different special services during their school week struggle to make it all work without “fighting” over children’s limited time. The children I teach have global delays, so in addition to spending all academic times in specially designed instructional groups, they also must be pulled out of class for speech and occupational therapies. It can be very difficult to find times to meet their special needs that do not coincide with other needs, such as their general education socializing, lunch, recess, and educational areas not served by special education, such as science and social studies.

This week, the Speech Language Pathologist (SLP), as she is trying to start serving students, wanted to serve one of them during his science time. I felt I needed to advocate for this student’s time in his general education classroom, receiving access to education that he does not get anywhere else. The SLP felt she needed to advocate for his much needed communication goals. Both of us had legitimate concerns about the use of this student’s time, and both of us felt we were advocating for the right thing. Instead of attempting to compromise or find an alternate time, the SLP said she would leave the decision up to me, and if the student went to science that she would just tell our director that he did not get his speech minutes met that week because I would not let him go. I perceived this as a threat, and told her that I did not want her to “throw me under the bus”, and so she could take him during science, and we would “work it out” later. Neither of us handled the situation well, but thankfully we were able to turn it around later. We both apologized, as we were both communicating while we were stressed out. We decided that she would speak with the teacher in charge of science to find out the specific days and times students would not be available, since I did not have all that information, and I would remove myself from that decision making, as I was only serving as a middle man, and perhaps adding to the confusion. I know that the SLP is a very sensitive person, and she takes conflict very personally, so I made sure to express to her that in no way was our relationship “damaged” and that it was ok that we occasionally disagree, because I understand her desire to advocate for the students is the same as mine. We both made a commitment to meet and hash out our schedules, and that we would find compromises on both ends.

Being sensitive to her emotions, seeing things from her perspective as well as mine, and working together to compromise and collaborate were all strategies that turned our unproductive conflict into a productive one. As a result, we are working together to meet the needs of students and we both have a better understanding of time restraints on each other’s schedules and jobs.

Who I am as a Communicator

This week I evaluated myself as a communicator, and had my fiancé, James, and my co-worker, Teresa, evaluate me as well. The results of some of the scores between us were surprising, and led me to reflect on what areas of communication need improvement for me to be a competent communicator in both my professional and my personal life.

In an assessment of my listening skills, the three of us rated me as “people-oriented”, meaning I am concerned about the emotions of others when I communicate. Though this listening style can help to establish relationships and trust between others, and me I wonder if it makes me a weaker advocate for children in issues and debates at work.

In an assessment of my communication anxiety, my fiancé and I rated myself as “moderate” indicating that my anxiety is situational, while m co-worker rated me as “low”, indicating that I am confident and comfortable in communicating in small and large groups. At first I was surprised, but upon reflection, I recognize that at work part of my job is to be a leader. I have built a program from the ground up, had to advocate for children to get the support staff and curriculum they need, must lead IEP meetings, and have serious discussions with parents. I also supervise two paraeducators and collaborate on a weekly basis with several others, as well as 15 general education teachers. I have a lot of confidence in my ability as a teacher. When it comes to other situations in the social realm, I do not have that confidence, and usually let James (my fiancé) take the “lead” in conversations with groups of people. While I am comfortable with my low level of anxiety at work, I think I would benefit from becoming more socially active and taking more time to enjoy my friends and hobbies (a challenge with school and work!) It is important to maintain a healthy balance in life.

Intercultural Communication

Considering cultural differences of individuals and groups when communicating is crucial to being a competent communicator.

The school in which I teach is becoming more and more diverse with each new student. The recession has put many families in financial difficulties. The proximity of the army/air force base has brought in military families of diverse cultural backgrounds (military upbringing being one of them). In my class of ten students, nine students qualify for free or reduced lunch and breakfast, two qualify for food bank programs, one is homeless, and one has no phone or power for most of the year. We have children who live with parents, stepparents, single parents, grandparents, family friends, aunts and uncles, or other various arrangements. I work with a diverse population of teachers in regards to gender, economic status, sexual orientation, and race. The families I work with are as diverse as staff and children, and have varying physical and cognitive abilities.

I find that I adapt my communication channels for individual colleagues and families so I can best communicate with them effectively. Some people prefer different modes of communication- many teachers and parents who work multiple jobs prefer I communicate with e-mail, as it is more sensitive of what free time they have. Others, such as some of the paraeducators, prefer face-to-face communication, as it shows I value their time and efforts in working with students because I am making deliberate time and effort to communicate with them. Some need more guidance, while others are “veterans” in the school and have innate skills and talents when working with children that do not require as much teacher guidance.

I also alter my communication styles depending on whom I am communicating with. Some of my parents are well versed in the special education system of public schools and have an understanding of their children’s abilities. When meeting with these parents I can talk more candidly, can use some teacher/WAC lingo, and have the meetings move rather swiftly. Other parents, with cognitive difficulties or anxiety disorders, I must use more careful, “use-friendly” language during meetings. I check for understanding more often than with the system-savvy families.

A third way I use to help communicate more effectively with people is to use active listening. This can be applied in all communication, no matter the cultural diversity. While the body language I use, or whether I question, paraphrase, or stay silent may differ depending on what is more appropriate based on cultural, situational, or relational context, I am always sure to demonstrate that I am listening, doing my best to understand, and fully considering what the speaker has to say instead of just waiting my turn to speak.

Insights into Nonverbal and Verbal Communication

This week I watched an episode of “The New Normal”, a sitcom on NBC. First I watched the show without sound, then I watched it with sound. I had never seen the show before, and did not have any idea of what it was about. I gained some insights into the importance of both nonverbal and verbal communication.

As I watched the show without sound, I was able to guess the relationships the characters had with one another quite accurately by the end of the 30 minutes. I was also able to figure out the basic emotions they were feeling towards each other during certain events and discussions, even though I had no specific idea about the events or topics of discussion. I relied heavily on facial expressions, and was able to see relationship bonds between characters.

When I watched the show with volume I learned that I had accurately figured out the relationships between most characters, but had no idea what the causes and effects of situations had been without verbal communication. My biggest “aha” moment was the realization that though nonverbal communication helps to express verbal messages, it is often not a stand-alone form of communication. Another thing I realized was that nonverbal communication may be more easily interpreted when you are familiar with the people you are communicating with. I imagine if I had watched an episode of “Friends” or “Seinfeld” I would have been better able to imagine the different situations the characters were in because I already know their relationships with one another, their livelihoods, and what they spend their days and evenings doing. In a real-life example, my twin sister and I are often able to have two conversations at the same time, each talking about our own subject and still respond to each other. We are also able to have entire conversations with half a sentence (or less) and the interpretation of facial expressions. This is largely due to how well we know each other, and that we share many schemas. It drives our significant others nuts sometimes, and we have had to make conscious efforts not to do this too much around them because they feel left out (and rightly so- it is a very personal form of communication!)

Effective Communication Skills

 When asked to think of a person who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context I think of the principal that I work with, Mr. A. Mr. A. has been an elementary school principal for about 7 years, prior to which he had no experience with young children, as he was a high school choir teacher. I believe his previous experiences (or lack of) are part of why he so fully supports and trusts in his elementary school staff.

Mr. A. listens to staff concerns when the district implements difficult or new procedures and is an advocate for children when programs are being cut. He is also very competent in having difficult conversations. When disputes arise between colleagues he will not step in to settle the dispute unless they have confronted each other and attempted to reconcile on their own. If this does not work, Mr. A. listens to both sides and acts as a mediator, with the end goal being to help move towards a decision that is best for children (I think his motto for everything is “We do what is best for kids”- he applies it to everything).

Mr. A. is also able to help others to be effective communicators. When I have an issue with one of my staff members and am having difficulty in knowing how to approach it Mr. A. is always able to help me find the words that describe my feelings in ways that are respectful to my colleague and that help initiate dialogue so the problem can be solved.

I think I have learned a lot from Mr. A. about how to be an effective advocate and mediator in the school setting, and can carry over these skills to different aspects of my life. I have used his communication style in confrontations and difficult conversations with colleagues and I think it has helped me build stronger relationships and safe, trusting environments within my workplace.