Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

Two weeks ago I was grocery shopping when I was found myself observing a microaggression at the deli counter. I was waiting in line at the counter behind an elderly woman in a motorized wheelchair. When it was her turn, she started signaling to the deli clerk what she wanted, and I realized she was deaf. Because she was in a wheelchair, the deli clerk could not see over the counter to see what she was pointing at. The deli clerk looked at me and said, “I can’t tell what she is trying to say.’” She made no move to come out from behind the counter, and I could tell she was uncomfortable with this woman’s differences, so I stepped in and started to “translate”. My sign language skills consist only of a few “basics” I use to help the children in my room, so I was able to discern “more” and “less” as well as see what she was pointing to. The woman was pantomiming quite a bit, probably because she could tell we didn’t know sign. As she was trying to signal something (I couldn’t tell what), a man came up to us, and seeing my confusion, figured out she was pantomiming “dipping sauce”. I thanked him and told the deli clerk. He was right, and so he turned to me and said, “I’m pretty good at playing charades!” That comment irritated me, and in understanding what microaggressions are, I now understand why. I also understand that the deli clerk’s assumption that I was there to help this disabled woman is a microaggression.

Though he said it light-heartedly, with no ill intentions, what the man did was belittle the deaf community and their language. Sign language is not part of a game; it is part of a culture and a way of communicating. The deli clerk’s actions can be seen as a microaggression as well. She assumed that because someone was deaf and/or in a wheelchair that she could not independently participate in normal activities, such as shopping. After the woman got all she needed from the deli counter, she thanked me, and was on her way (but not after letting me know I needed to learn more sign!)

Reflecting on this experience has made me realize that microaggressions really do happen everywhere on an everyday basis, and I can definitely see how repeated exposure to microaggressions can take a toll on people. If I felt so strongly about a microaggression that wasn’t even aimed at me, how must the targeted person feel? I think that to bring microaggressions to light they must be identified when they happen. This means that I must have a heightened awareness of what microaggressions are, which will take considerable practice in looking at actions and behaviors from another’s viewpoint. This was a very good exercise!

Perpsectives on Diversity and Culture

When asking three different people about their definitions of culture and diversity, here are the answers I received:

What is your definition of culture?

“Ok, so super short/simple description of culture: Everyone has a culture: it is everything from the language you speak, the holidays you celebrate, the way you are expected to act, the books you read, the foods you eat, etc. Within this is subculture (Korean American, gothic, gay, etc).”

“Culture is the heritage background that influences a persons life - food, traditions, behavior, expectations, extended family, and/or religious beliefs. This may also include folklore and music.”

“Culture is made up of the foods, celebrations, customs, traditions, ethics and morals, and belief systems share by a group of people.”

Some similarities between these definitions of culture and the idea of culture that I have been studying are the things that fall into the surface culture: traditions, language, heritage, food, and religious beliefs. They also delved into the idea of some of the deeper cultural elements, such as behavior expectations, ethics, and morals. They do not include many elements of the deep culture, such as differences among cultures, and which parts of cultures people choose to continue, change, or disengage in.

What is your definition of diversity?

“Diversity is the exposure to different ideas, cultures, and/or beliefs. A diverse community is made up of people from different cultures or those with different ideas and beliefs. I don't think a diverse community necessarily means people from different countries as much as it means people from very different backgrounds.”

“Diversity is a collection of people from different cultures and backgrounds (socio-economic status, location, upbringing, and different life-style choices). I think true diversity isn't only about a random sample of people from various cultures and backgrounds, but about that mixed group of people having a tolerance for others who do not share their same beliefs or way of living.”

“As for diversity, it is differences in age, nationality, ethnicity, language, differing abilities, region, religion, sexual orientation, gender, socioeconomic status, etc.”

There are many aspects of the definition of diversity that I have studies so far, such as diversity being differences in age, nationality, ethnicity, language, abilities, religion, sexual orientation, and life styles. Some things that have been omitted are diversity in relation to social identities. I thought it was interesting that one definition included people having a “tolerance for others who do not share their same beliefs or way of living”.

Much of what these definitions state are ideas I had before entering this course. It is interesting to me that two of the definitions of diversity look at diversity as people of different backgrounds or cultures living together in harmony, even though diversity is something that is present regardless of whether we “get along” or not. In noticing what parts have been omitted makes me see that I have learned to open my mind a lot more than before enrolling in this program in considering the importance and impact that diversity and culture have on myself and society as a whole.

My Family Culture

If I were to be relocated to a country with a culture completely different than my own, I would take with me a mason jar, a jackalope, and a picture of Mount Rainier.

The mason jar and jackalope symbolize my mother’s and father’s sides of the family, respectfully, and what values and traditions I have learned from them. My mother’s side of the family has a tradition of making different types of candy every Christmas, as well as canning jam, fruits, and vegetables in the summer and fall. I will always remember being a young girl, helping my mother with these tasks, then later learning to do them myself. Not only was making these things a tradition, it is a part of who I am as a homemaker, and a way to provide for my family.

The jackalope reminds me of my father’s side of the family (mostly from the mid-West). My grandparents and parents have taught me about unconditional love, and that family is very important (two values that are a part of my family culture). My dad’s father (Papa) has taken care his wife (Gramma) for over 30 years as multiple sclerosis has taken away her mobility and independence. They are an example, to me, of what marriage and unconditional love is. It also reminds me of a second family tradition (again, food-based) of the Greek pastries made around Christmas. Gramma may not be able to bake, but she can certainly tell us which glaze to use on the kouroulakia, that the kourebiethes need to sit in powdered sugar for two weeks before we can eat them (so no cheating!) and that baklava is worth the trouble of handling the filo dough.

The picture of Mount Rainier would remind me of where my home is (I was a 5^th generation graduate from my home high school). I take pride in coming from a small town, and the values that has instilled on me. A community is a group of people who know each other, grow up together, and help each other out. It also reminds me of the person I am becoming, as hiking is something I do with my fiancé, and is becoming the avenue for a new, different social identity for us as a couple.

It was difficult to think of items that remind me of my culture, partly because it forced me to really think about what I want to keep in touch with the most, but also because so much of what is important to me is based on what I do, not what I have. If I were told I could only take one item, after all, I would be sad, true, but the most important part of my culture is who surrounds me, not what is on my table. This exercise has challenged me to find the parts of my family culture that are most influential in my life, and has also led me to see that family culture is the one I identify with the most, over other identity groups I am a part of. Jobs may come and go, as may friends, but family is a constant.