I grew up in a close-knit family. Unlike many of my childhood friends, my parents (high school sweethearts) are still together. I grew up close to both sets of grandparents, and my aunts and uncles. Even now, at 28, I live within 15 minutes of my parents and see them at least once a week.
My twin sister, Kat, and I have always been very close. We grew up sharing a bedroom and even went through college together (we both went into the field of elementary special education). Growing up, I always had someone to talk to, put things into a different perspective and support me. Kat has always been the artistic one, sensitive to others, with a "I can fix it" attitude that she brought to all situations. I have always been the more practical one. We have always joked that if we were to combine our characteristics, we would be the perfectly balanced personality. Even now we talk every day, and share our woes and celebrations. We vent, problem solve, and acknowledge eachother. Every couple months we get together for "twin time" which excludes our significant others (which we are fortunate in that they are very understanding!) but now includes Kat's beautiful baby girl.
Another important person in my life is my dad. Though my parents planned to have children, Kat and I came along sooner than planned. My dad started as a carpenter, but soon started his own construction company. Because he had a family to support (my parents valued the idea of a stay-at-home parent) he worked long hours. I remember him working in the den on blueprints through the weekend, and spending his evenings in the basement where his shop was. My dad taught me the value of good work ethic and the importance of respecting your family. He never missed the opportunity to explain the inner-workings of things, from how a light bulb works (a distraction to get to stay up past bed time) to how a car engine works (the beginning of learning how to drive a car). To this day I often ask myself before making a choice, "what would Dad do?"
My mom has played a huge role in my life. She stayed at home until I was in the 5th grade, when she decided to go back to school to become a teacher. When I was young I was very shy. Mom raised me to believe I could do anything, and become whatever I set my heart on. She raised me to be independent and helped tame my stubborn side. Mom has always encouraged me to do what I think is right. She has always said that she knows her children aren't perfect- but she loves us no matter what. This has always stuck in my mind as a good message: to know that I can mess up and make mistakes, but nothing I may do will ever make her stop loving me and supporting me. I hope to be a great mother as she is to me.
Papa Dale (my dad's dad) has always been an important person in my life. I grew up within 30 minutes of him and Gramma Theo. My grandmother was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis about 30 years ago. She has outlived doctors' predictions by a good 15 years. By the time I was born she was wheelchair bound. Papa Dale is the example of unconditional love and the definition of that part in wedding vows, "in times of sickness..." He has shown me that a real man supports and loves his family through hardships in life, and that family takes care of family. He taught me to drive a tractor at an early age, and was always excited to show us granddaughters his newest toys (scroll saws and drill presses). He would save old phones and vacuums so I could take them apart to see how they worked. Papa underscored the lessons I learned from my parents: That I could do anything I set my mind to, that I am an independent woman, and that family is important and we support eachother.
April has been my best friend since I was 3 years old. We grew up in the same neighborhood, until I moved away in the 5th grade. We still played together often, and when she got her driver's license she applied for a out-of-district transfer and we finished school at the same high school. April was like my twin and I in many ways: shy, imaginative, and took her friendships seriously. Though we lead very different lives now, we still are connected. April has taught me that friendships endure many of life's adventures, and that there is always something to be learned from someone. She has shown me the importance of keeping an open mind, as well as an open heart. We got into a huge argument when we were just out of high school. We didn't talk for a year. It was hard on us both, but we are both the type to stick to our opinions and our principles. One evening we saw eachother at a coffee shop. Without words, we went to eachother, and hugged. It was decided we would never fight like that again; it was not work the loss of friendship. Sometimes, words are not needed.
Caroline,
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful assignment because we "really" get to know each other, as well as ourselves. You have had an amazing support system that has taught you to go after your dreams, knowing you will always have their support. I had a similar situation in my house, and I think that's why I'm pushing myself to go back to college. I know that my family would want this for me, because I want it so much.
Your grandfather's story brought tears to my eyes, and his love story is a once in a lifetime experience. How wonderful that you were able to watch and learn through their love.
Your friendship with April, also, hit my heart a bit, too. I have been friends with Robin since middle school (not as long as you and April), but she was like a sister to me. I have a younger sister, but our differences pulled us apart. Robin was the sister who was there for me through everything. We did everything together. We played Monopoly every weekend with a group of friends, we went shopping all the time, we talked on the phone all day and night, and we double-dated to our senior prom. We had a huge argument one day, and we, unlike you and April, did not talk for almost 20 years. We re-connected about a year ago on Facebook, and believe it or not, we picked up exactly where we left off as friends. We never discussed the argument, it just did not matter.
Thank you so much for sharing. I enjoyed reading your thoughts, and they rekindled memories for me, too.
Caroline, as I read through your post the one thing I enjoyed the most and that made me think of my mother was that your mother let you know it was ok to make mistakes. That even when we make mistakes we are still their children and that they love us no matter what. I question if there are enough parents in the world that let their children know they are not perfect, that they are not expected to always be perfect and that we all make mistakes and that they will love us regardless. Thank you fo sharing that, I did not mention this about my mother but she felt the same as your mother does.
ReplyDeleteIt is wonderful that your parents are high school sweethearts. It sounds like your family taught you that it is okay to be you. Even if life does not go in the direction you expect, that it is okay and you will be just fine. My sister and I also have a very close relationship. We shared a room as children. Even though I came from a single family home, our families had some qualities in common.
ReplyDeleteCaroline,
ReplyDeleteThis blog is very special to me because it personifies what family is about. I have a sister and the relationship that you describe with your twin is the type of relationship I would love to have with my sister. My sister and I are like night and day and we live different lifestyles. I pray for her every day that she will realize that her actions are affecting the whole family; especially her children. I met my father when I was 25 and we are building a relationship slowly. Thank you for posting this. It was refreshing and gives me hope that one day I can have a close relationship with my sister. It was a pleasure being in class with you this semester. Good Luck on your future courses and life endeavors.